Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
