Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I just found puke in my bra..
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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