oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
