Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
When are your genitals available?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize