why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
