Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
as a side note pls kill me
Randomize
