i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Randomize