ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize