when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Randomize
