Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
she smelled like a LAN party
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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