the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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