Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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