The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize