drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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