Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
