it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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