WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
