I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
