when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
