Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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