Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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