i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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