Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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