I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
This is classic penis vs brain.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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