Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I wanna bring you to show and tell
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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