drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
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