What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
