is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Randomize