Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
