While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Randomize
