dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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