Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
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