Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
