I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
