too bad you live with your parents still
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
