Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize