sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
