But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
