Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
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