If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
