Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
