After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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