I puked a lego.
only if we run a train.
done.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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