I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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