i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
