On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
