Apparently you make a good broom.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Even the bartender felt bad for me
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
