I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
