I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
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