just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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