So drunk, too bad you don't want this
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
