Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
