I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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