Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
