Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
