i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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