The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
