its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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