I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
