New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
