so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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