Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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