dude i'm inner monologue high
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
This is the high leading the old right now
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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