I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
