Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
