Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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