I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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