are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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