I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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