so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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