I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
