he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
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