yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
