Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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