your thong is hanging out like whoa
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
