I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
